“Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.”
– Charles Kettering
Being a dad is about more than looking fit. It is the deliberate practice of becoming a stronger, more capable man—physically, mentally, and morally—so that your strength can be used in service of the people who depend on you.
Training gives us a place to practice these qualities. Fatherhood gives us a reason to live them.
In this vast world of communicating with a virtually endless reach, amidst empty social media rhetoric and soulless mass marketing, how does one establish professional credibility anymore?
Ethos is your character—the faith people have in your integrity and competence. It is the trust that you inspire and your personal credibility.
Without establishing a standard, your ideal will lack a clear definition and easily wander.
Will this be difficult? Yes! Will the bar be set impossibly high? Yes!
Your ethos isn't really about fitness virtues. It's about the kind of man and father physical training helps someone practice becoming.
- Strength training becomes a place to practice commitment.
- Nutrition practices self-control.
- Keeping promises to yourself develops personal responsibility.
- Learning develops competence.
- Doing difficult things develops courage.
- Being dependable develops honor.
And ultimately, those qualities are supposed to be given back to your family and other people through contribution.
This will be the most difficult part of your evolution—to break free from the gravitational pull of weakness, habit, and fear.
The best way to start is to start. Do not hesitate; that is the key.
Model humility in the face of infinite evolutions. It is what you are committed to all the time that becomes and defines your character.
Template: Personal Ethos
1) Commitment
- Declare what you are going to do, then follow through whether it feels good at the moment or not.
Own your decisions, and do not fear making large agreements. Fear excuses and not keeping your word to yourself or others.
Mediocrity is the height of selfishness, and excuses are simply another way of being dishonest.
2) Personal Responsibility
- Decide to “choose to” instead of “have to.”
Take the attitude that you are the cause of your experience because of the choices you decide to make and how you respond to other people's actions toward you.
As a father, I choose to be “strong enough,” and that mindset serves me well!
3) Contribution
- Carry an abundance mindset.
Serve others without expecting anything in return, knowing that you may never see the results of your legacy flourish.
4) Honor
- Duty comes first.
Keep your word and have respect for yourself. If you cannot make a commitment to your duties, then you will dishonor your team/family/tribe.
You can't win until everyone wins.
5) Courage
- Do what you have to do, even if you are afraid.
Fear in and of itself isn't your problem. Your problem is not facing your fears head-on, taking action, and failing forward.
You may not always have all the facts, so trust your instincts. You can't win at the game of life trying to shelter yourself from every single hurt that may come your way.
6) Knowledge
- Seek first to understand and then to be understood.
Avoid projecting inauthentic moral outrage and your autobiography upon others.
Instead, serve as an empathetic listener and embrace the opportunity to collaborate with, influence, and possibly transform another individual. Partner with a mentor or support group.
7) Self-Control
- Have the self-control to embody your personal ethos.
Remain proactive and action-oriented, with the expression and fulfillment of character being at the forefront.
Resources
“Meditations” (Marcus Aurelius)
I refer to the Meditations weekly, as it is like my personal handbook for learning about human nature. This is the best available translation.
If you are brand new to Stoicism and prefer a more in-depth analysis and explanation of the material, this is the version to get—Meditations: The Annotated Edition (Robin Waterfield).
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Stephen Covey)
This classic presents a principle-centered approach to solving both personal and professional problems using actual stories from Covey's experiences. An excellent manual to return to again and again.
Leaders Eat Last (Simon Sinek)
In his work with organizations worldwide, Sinek noticed that some teams trust each other so deeply they would literally put their lives on the line for each other. Other teams, no matter what incentives are offered, are doomed to infighting, fragmentation, and failure. Why?
The answer became clear during a conversation with a Marine Corps general. “Officers eat last,” he said. Sinek watched as the most junior Marines ate first while the most senior Marines took their place at the back of the line. What's symbolic in the chow hall is deadly serious on the battlefield: Great leaders sacrifice their own comfort—even their own survival—for the good of those in their care.
Mastery (Robert Greene)
Greene advocates committing to a rigorous apprenticeship, absorbing the hidden knowledge of those with years of experience, and deeply immersing your learning in established patterns from within. He studies the behaviors of Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Leonardo da Vinci, and nine contemporary Masters to outline these practices.
Thank you for reading.
I'm glad you're here,
Nathan
