The Most Important Investment: Time With Your Children
My son had an assignment to have his “Paper Me” accompany his dad to work. He was in the third grade and excited to share the assignment with me. I was not home, so he told me about it during one of my regular nightly calls from the road. I told him I would be home in a few days, and we could make arrangements to make that happen.
When I got home a few days later, he met me at the door with a four-foot-tall cutout of himself. It was adorable. He told me that instead of coming with me to work, he was sending his “Paper Me.” Why? Because while the other kids went to work with their dads, my son couldn't. My job as a Vice President of International Sales and Marketing for a major manufacturer of metal components used in the medical, sports, and entertainment industries kept me on planes and in hotel rooms all over the world. So, when the assignment was given, he awkwardly explained to his teacher why he couldn’t participate. The “Paper Me” was the compromise.
I was impressed by his ingenuity and resourcefulness, too arrogant and self-absorbed to see the true tragedy of the situation. So, I packed his “Paper Me” in my luggage and jetted off to Malaysia for an important series of meetings. While in Malaysia, I took photos of “Paper Me” on the train, in the office, and in the limo. I was so proud. I was in Malaysia to negotiate potential financial investments in local factories to build my products. I was making investments all over the world, but I was failing to make the most important investment—one that would never appear on a balance sheet: investing in my children.
As successful, driven professionals, many men leave family investing to our wives. We automatically assume that because we make more money (if, in fact, we do), we are not responsible for family investing. The investing I am talking about is deciding who leaves their job while building a family, who gets called when little Joey breaks his arm on the playground, or who gets called when little Janey isn’t feeling well and needs to go home.
The bottom line is that, for far too long, we have left the investing that matters to our wives and the women who raise our legacies. We mindlessly focus on balance sheets, inventory, ROI, and FTEs while abdicating our true responsibility. Further, when we finally come home, we spend time on phones and laptops, still plugged into the office. And, unfortunately and wrongly, we tell ourselves we are doing it for “them.” But are we? Is that truly what they want?
I remember having this conversation with my late wife. I smugly commented on the home we built, the cars we drove, the jewels on her fingers and wrists, and the furs in the vault. She looked at me and said, “But I would rather have you and your time.”
Amid the drive and focus we give to our companies, or someone else’s, I want to encourage all you movers and shakers never to forget the most important investment you can make. The investment in your children and your family will outlast and outperform any investment you can make in any business, portfolio, or market.
Our children are our legacy. They allow us to live on. They make our lives matter. They are what we leave behind to make tomorrow greater. The memories we make with our children are the investments we make today, paid over and over again at a time when we no longer exist. But to exist in the minds of our children, and to do so in a positive way, is the most secure investment one can make.
If you were to ask me for advice for successful and accomplished professionals, I would tell you three things: invest in your children, invest in their memories, and pay for those investments with your time.
If we all do those things, the world may not be perfect, but its future would be much brighter.
