The sources and healing balms for my traumas are just surfacing at age 55. In 2025, I learned that my experiences as a molestation victim as a child made me feel shame and anger. That anger showed up often to protect me. I learned that having two of my favorite bikes as a kid stolen made me vigilant. I learned that being chosen last on a sports team crushed my confidence. The loss of loved ones separated close friendships and family. Injustices lessened my hope in systems.
What has worked is realizing that every put-down and cynical laugh came out of misunderstandings and did not destroy the caring human being that is me. I understand why I'm drawn to misunderstood populations. It is out of a genuine, felt understanding of their pain. As an adult, I have tried to adopt two stray dogs as my own. The wake-up call: “What if the stray is more comfortable in chaos than in a home?”
Grief can make individuals feel like stray animals. The canine DNA remains the same, minus the safety of the pack. My leadership has led me to be a listener more than a speaker. I've learned the good medicine of sitting with friends, family, colleagues, and clients in silence. The same formula that redefines me is the same formula I commit my practice and relationships to moving forward. That formula is grace, understanding, non-judgment, being a learner, and allowing my clients to tell and redefine their pain.
